Narcissists are highly manipulative and they usually use covert tactics to get what they want from others. A normal person may stare at you if they like your looks, if you look familiar or if you are doing something unusual. But for narcissists the reason why they stare is quite different. Of course a narcissist can stare at you for the mentioned reasons, but if they are doing it in weird way that it looks like they are obsessed with you, then most probably, they have a hidden agenda in their mind.
This is why Narcissists Stare
There is no single reason why a narcissist would stare at you. Different narcissists stare for many different reasons. You need to analyse the whole situation to find out what might be their intentions. A narcissist may stare at you for one or more of the following reasons.
- To read your emotions: Narcissists are highly manipulative. Before they manipulate someone, they need to know the emotional state of their target, so they stare at you to know whether you are vulnerable or not. For example, a narcissist who wants to hurt you will first want to see if you are feeling down and lacking the energy to fight back. On the other, a narcissist who likes you and wants to have fun with you would make sure that you are in the right mood for that.
- To attract you: : If a narcissist finds out that you enjoy being in the spotlight, they may shower you with attention in form of staring so that you become interested in them. They know that the best way to get what they want it to give you what you need.
- He wants your attention: In this case they want you to keep wondering why they are staring at you and since you have no answer you must keep thinking about them. This may be a sign that they just like you, or they may be trying to figure out if you are interested so that they can take further steps.
- To hoover: Some narcissists don’t discard permanently. After the rage of the break up is over, if they find that they have no quality narcissist supply around them like you. When they realise that it will take time and effort to win someone else like you. When they know that there are possibilities of never finding someone like you, they can give up and start idealising you again. But coming back to you directly can be embarrassing, staring helps them show interest without making it obvious.
- To make you or someone else jealous: If you were having a relationship affair with a narcissist and all of a sudden they started staring at someone of the opposite sex, they may be trying to make you jealous so that you can give them more attention. If this is their intention, they will only do it while you are around, to make sure that you see it. This can also be used as a weapon to punish you. See also: How to make a narcissist jealous
- To intimidate you: Of course if they are staring to intimidate you, they won’t do it smiling. Staring comes handy when it’s not appropriate to use words. Or when they realise that words are not effective they may stare at you dauntingly, to intensify tension.
What to do if a Narcissist is Staring at you
This will depend on the reason why they are staring at you. If you like the narcissist and want to be in good terms with them, just act like you enjoy their attention. They will love you for it. If you are not interested in them, just play indifferent. But don’t overdo it in a way that shows disrespect or else they will take it as a challenge and you may pay for it.
In case they are staring to intimidate you, staring back may show that you are willing to challenge them. Don’t do this unless you have the upper hand. Otherwise just play indifferent and ignore them. (See: 6 signs that a narcissist is in love with you)