Contrary to what many people believe, narcissists don’t move on so quickly. Before I explain this, it’s important to understand the emotional state of someone who has fully moved on. When someone has moved on completely, they feel neutral towards their ex. This means that he or she won’t have any desire for revenge, anger, or a desire get their ex back. The emotional pain associated with the breakup will have vanished as well.
To reach this final stage of recovery, one has to go through all the stages of recovery namely: denial, anger, depression, bargaining and lastly acceptance. Denial being the first stage, it comes right after the breakup. This is where a person can’t believe that the relationship is over for good. Here a person is still full of hope that maybe the breakup was just a normal fight that will be settled soon.
Denial is usually followed by anger. This is where a person feels that his rights were violated, he feels a strong desire to make his ex pay for his mistakes and an angry attitude toward them. The third stage is depression followed by bargaining and lastly acceptance.
That is how the human mind processes breakup and any type of loss, whether the person is a narcissist, a psychopath or a mentally healthy person. However the more a person was attached to the relationship, the more intense and painful recovery would be.
You may be thinking that narcissist move on so quickly because they never get attached to their partner but that’s not true at all.
How do Narcissists Handle a Breakup
Narcissists go through the healing process a little differently than normal people. Their denial and anger usually comes in form of devaluation and discard. By devaluing the relationship and convincing themselves that their ex meant nothing to them, they reduce the pain it would have caused on their ego if they thought otherwise. Of course this can’t end the pain of losing a valuable supply, that’s why some of them usually rush to find a painkiller_ another narcissistic supply.
Most often, this new supply is selected hastily without taking enough time to know if they are compatible or not. Because the main goal is to get a quick fix, these types of relationships don’t last longer and the end is usually painful and confusing for the new partner.
When they are still enjoying the highs of a new supply, it may look like they have completely moved on, but moving on doesn’t happen that easily.
When their ex’s Pain Serves as a Narcissistic Supply in Disguise.
A narcissistic supply is anything that assures a narcissist of their own importance. In my previous article on how to bring a narcissist back, I said that when a narcissist sees their ex in pain after a breakup, it gives them sense of power and self-importance.
As long as they see their ex suffer after separation, it can give them a sense of importance and a short-term happiness that can make it seem like they have moved on. In this case when their ex has finally recovered, that’s when their recovery begins. Sometimes here, they try to bring back their ex (hoovering) to escape the pain.
When they really Move on so Fast
The only case where a narcissist can move on so fast is when the relationship was a rebound one. A rebound relationship is a new relationship that a narcissist rushes into without having a second thought in order to escape emotional pain that was caused by the previous relationship. Most often they realise that they made the wrong choice and the breakup follows.
Getting over this type of relationship that they were not yet emotionally attached to, is easier. Some people think that narcissists can’t get emotionally attached to their partner because they are monsters but that’s not true. When a narcissist is getting a good supply from a good source, they can get emotionally attached to that source just like normal people.