It’s an undeniable fact that narcissists can be so jealous of other people’s success, privileges and well-being. Surprisingly, you don’t have to be that successful in a real sense for you to trigger their jealousy. As long as you have any advantage they don’t have, that’s enough. Sometimes jealous can force narcissists to take serious actions to harm the person they are jealous of. The big problem is that they come sometimes disguised as a friend, making it harder for the person they are plotting to attack spot them.
A funny fact is that jealousy knows no blood relations or mutual relationships. You can find a narcissistic man who is jealous of his wife or a father who is jealous of his successful son. Although, this applies for non-narcissists as well.
Jealousy is one of the emotions that make narcissists dangerous. Even if they don’t take serious actions to harm the person they are jealous of, if he is close to them for example, they can still less obvious actions to make his life miserable. For example if he depends of them for something important, they may withhold their contribution to make sure that they see him suffering.
What Makes Narcissists so Jealous
- They sense competition in everything: A sense of competition, real or perceived can trigger jealousy even in non-narcissists. If a particular narcissist is a business man for example, he may not be jealous of his friend who is a popular singer. But if his wife is also in business and suddenly starts moving ahead of the narcissists, this can trigger a lot of jealousy. Surpassing a narcissist at something that you are both involved in or succeeding at something he failed at, can make them really jealous.
- They have low self-esteem: A narcissists will not be jealous of someone who is good looking if he is good looking as well. But if he is not confident in his ability to socialise, he may always be jealous of his social and popular friend. Because narcissists have a very fragile self-esteem behind the mask of ultra-confidence, they become very jealous of anyone who has genuine confidence derived from real abilities.
- You are happier than they are: When a narcissist is depressed or feeling down, they don’t like to see someone happier and excited around them, especially if he is close to them. This is because they know that a happy person is powerful. When you are happy you became more confident, assertive and clear-minded. On the other hand, when a person is sad or depressed, he usually feels weak and vulnerable. Narcissists are not immune to this feeling either. Feelings of vulnerability that accompany depression make narcissists see a happy person as a threat, especially when they are not in good terms with them.
- They are insecure: In a relationship for example feelings of insecurity are usually stem from being unsure if you are worthy enough to keep your partner interested. If a narcissist thinks that their partner would leave them if she became more successful, then the narcissist would be very jealous if their partner starts succeeding at something. Similarly, if he is financially unsuccessful and believes that his wife likes financially successful men, he may be very jealous of his successful male friends as well. (See: why are some narcissists so mean)
- They wish to be better than everybody else: Narcissists hate it when people around them are better in any way. Because they need to surpass everybody else to feel superior, they become very jealous when someone else surpasses them at anything.
- You are stealing their attention: narcissists need so much attention. Because they believe that they are better than common people, they believe that they deserve more attention than the average folk next to them. Getting the attention that a narcissist believes deserves can bring about jealousy.