Are you interested in a narcissist and wondering how he will feel and react once he knows that you love him? In this article, you will learn what to expect when you express your love and romantic interest in a narcissist. I will also tell you why the way you express your interest in him can greatly affect how he will feel about you.
When a narcissist knows that you love him, the first thing that will happen is that he will quickly evaluate you based on things such as your looks, popularity, status, and assign you a certain worth. Note that the worth that the narcissist will assign you is totally dependent on his perception and has nothing to do with your actual worth. If the narcissist sees you as more worthy, he will fall in love with you and consider you a potential romantic relationship partner.
On the other hand, if the narcissist doesn’t perceive you as that worthy, he will be happy that you love him but he won’t be romantically interested in you. Narcissists usually see people in 0s and 1s. This means that to them you can either be totally worthy or totally worthless. Below are 6 factors that will determine what will happen when a narcissist knows you love him.
6 things that happen when a narcissist knows you love him
- He may actually lose interest in you: in my article: how to make a narcissist obsessed with you, I said that you should avoid expressing your feelings too early. You should keep the narcissist confused so that they keep thinking about you. When you express your feelings too early, the narcissist will see you as needy and desperate and this will greatly affect the worth he will assign to you. The more desperate you look, the less worthy you appear.
- What if the narcissist has been chasing you?: If the narcissist had been pursuing you trying to make you fall in love with him and finally gets to know that you also love him, at first he will be really happy for getting his goal met. However, the happiness that follows the realization that you love him is not permanent. Keep reading to understand what happens next.
- You may trigger his fear of commitment: a narcissist who has the fear of commitment usually pursues someone eagerly with an ultimate goal of having a relationship with them but as soon as things start getting serious, the narcissist usually runs away. While the fear of commitment is common among narcissistic people, not all narcissists have it. To find out whether the narcissist you’re dealing with has the fear of commitment, try to find out if they have ever been in a serious relationship before.
- He will weaponize it: when a narcissist knows that you’re interested in him, he will use your feelings against you to make sure that you comply with his demands. For example, if you flirt with someone else in his presence, he may give you the silent treatment in order to make you regret doing it. This usually happens if the narcissist is also romantically interested in you.
- He will fall in love with you: a narcissist or any other normal person may like you but they will not fall in love with you or make any move unless they believe that it’s possible to get you. Do you know why people don’t fall in love with their favorite celebrities? It’s because they don’t think it’s possible to get them. Of course they like those celebrities but they won’t develop romantic feelings for them.
- Your worth can change any time: as I said, the worth that the narcissist assigns you is not based on reality but his perception. For example, when you hurt a narcissist’s ego he usually devalues you and sees you as a totally worthless person.
Should you let a narcissist know that you love him
You might have concluded that expressing your feelings to a narcissist is a wrong move but that’s not true. If you’re interested in a narcissistic person and want to attract them, you should just avoid expressing your feelings too early before you make sure that they are also interested in you. See: why do narcissists stare?
This does not mean that you should express total lack of interest. As I said, when someone believes that it’s impossible to get you, they won’t develop feelings for you. See: how does a narcissist react when you stop chasing them.