Have you ever been manipulated by a narcissist? Did a narcissist make you feel like you are not intelligent enough? Before writing this article I did a quick search to see what others said about this topic. What I found is that almost everyone advised that you should avoid the narcissist’s games. But is that the right advice? Is it wrong to try to outsmart a narcissist?
Whether you like it or not, narcissistic people are everywhere. Since it’s almost impossible to avoid them all, you must learn how to deal with them properly or else you will always be played. You can’t say that you have enough communication skills if you only know how to deal with good people. Cunning is against my personal values and I believe it’s the same for you. You don’t have to be manipulative or cunning in order to outwit a narcissist. You just have to be a little smarter than them. Below are 5 way to outsmart a narcissistic person.
Don’t Let Them know Your Way of Thinking
Narcissists and other manipulative people usually try to figure out your style of thinking before they decide how they should manipulate you. They will try to understand how you react under certain circumstances, how you behave in certain situations and what makes you weak. When they have all that information, they will use it against you given half a chance.
If you have been with a narcissist for a long time, they probably know you well. This does not mean that you can’t outplay them if they already know about your personality. You should instead learn how to deal with them properly, and they will be surprised that you are no longer reacting the way you used to. If you were in a battle field and an enemy saw you holding a sword, he may approach you with confidence and he will be surprised when he realizes that you have a gun. Hiding you way of thinking will help you outsmart a narcissist.
Learn to Use Logics Not Emotions
When you let your emotions control how you react, you only use half of your intelligence. Do you know why sometimes you get smarter ideas that you should have said in an argument long after the argument has ended? It’s because you were experiencing a certain strong emotion during that argument. If you have the fear of public speaking like many people, you know how your mind can go blank when you start talking.
When your emotions take control, you lose your ability to think logically to a great extent. The reason why you get strong negative emotions such as anger, anxiety or fear in certain situations is because you focus on how bad the situation is. It’s normal to get such emotions but instead of panicking you should instead focus on finding a solution. When you start finding solutions, you start feeling confident therefore, you start realizing that the situation wasn’t that horrible.
Don’t Show Them That You Don’t Trust Them
One of the mistakes than many people make when dealing with a narcissist is confronting them too early. For example, if you suspect that your narcissistic partner is betraying you, you should avoid confronting him right away. Instead let him believe that you trust him 100% until you collect enough evidence.
When he believes that you know nothing about what he does behind closed doors, he will put less effort in hiding himself. This will make it easier for you to know his secrets and outsmart him.
Don’t Talk About Your Plans
If you are planning to do something that is beneficial for yourself, a jealous narcissist will try his best to stop you. In order to avoid such problem, you should keep your plans a secret until it’s too late for the narcissist to stop you. This is good way to dealing with a jealous narcissistic friend or co-worker.
For example, if you wanted to borrow some money from your narcissistic friend for starting a small business, don’t tell them about your plans especially if they are too good to make them jealous. Instead, keep it a secret and surprise them with the results. (See: how to make a narcissist respect you)
Have a Good Social Life
Some narcissists try to isolate their partner in order to facilitate abuse. Isolation is a tactic commonly used by insecure narcissists who are afraid that their partner would find someone better. Having supportive friends is not only good for your mental health; it also makes you less vulnerable to some forms of abuse.