In the initial stages of a relationship, couples are usually intensely attracted to each other and madly in love. But after sometime, these intense feelings of love usually fade away, and in a healthy relationship love is felt through intimacy, mutual respect and connectedness.
People who don’t understand how love works may start thinking that they are falling out of love with their partner when the intense attraction starts disappearing and that’s when many problems arise. Some people start cheating; others decide to break up while others choose to stay together even if they may be experiencing relationship dissatisfaction.
Understand that the intense attraction cannot be restored
In the beginning of a relationship your brain gives you these intense feelings of love in order to motivate you to stick to the person you are in love with, but when your brain realises that you have settled down in a relationship, it realises that there is no need to keep sending you those intense feelings of love.
It’s important for you and your partner to understand that it’s normal for the intense attraction that’s felt in the beginning of a relationship to fade away. Your goal should not be to restore those intense feelings but to increase satisfaction in your relationship and make it healthier. See: how to help a narcissist heal?
The following are some of the techniques to make your partner love you more
Know why they fell in love with you in the first place
Why did your partner fall in love with you in the first place? Was it because you were good looking, intelligent or popular? If you lost the criterion that made your partner fall in love with you in the beginning then he/she may start losing interest in you slowly. As you might have already guessed, getting that criterion back or even improving it would make him/her love you more.
Let’s suppose that your partner fell in love with you because you were good looking, and then after you settled down in the relationship, you stopped taking care of your looks. This can make him start losing interest in you and as I said, in this case the only way you can make him love you more again is to start taking care of your looks once again.
Of course this is a simple and superficial example, in reality, a person can fall in love with you for complex reasons such as when you satisfy his psychological needs, when you help him compensate for his flaws, etc. That’s why having a good understanding of your partner is very important. See also: why do we obsess over people who ignore us?
Assure him that his bad past won’t repeat itself
When a person gets into a new relationship, he usually fears that the problems that were present in his previous relationship may arise in the current relationship. For example if your partner’s previous relationship ended because his partner was cheating on him, then his worst fear would be that you will also cheat on him.
You should try to find out what your partner’s fears are and work on assuring him that his bad past won’t repeat itself. Of course you should do this indirectly or else he may not take you seriously. See also: 8 signs of a toxic relationship.