Sometimes you might find yourself in an embarrassing situation where a narcissist you are not interested in, or an abusive one, constantly seeks to keep you closer no matter how you try to push him away. In this case, you might feel bothered at the same time not knowing what to do to keep the narcissist away from you.
In a situation like this, many people who don’t know what they should do end up messing things up by taking a strong action trying to repel the narcissist and end up making matters worse. Sometimes when the action taken to keep the narcissist away is interpreted as a sign of disrespect or humiliation, the narcissist might decide to anything possible to make sure you experience anything but the peace of mind.
There are also people who do the mistake of staying close to the narcissist despite emotional burden the narcissist presents. There are many reasons why those people do this including: fear of provoking the narcissist, wanting to feel needed, or being made to feel guilty by the narcissist.
The problem with keeping a narcissist you don’t like close is that it always lead to a bad ending. You will either have to push the narcissist way aggressively, the narcissist will harshly discard you, or you will get emotionally attached to the narcissist you don’t like.
To make the narcissist discard you in a polite way you will need to do the following.
1. Avoid them
Some narcissists have high self-respect. As soon as they realize that you are trying to avoid them, they understand that you are not interested and back off. If you are dealing with this type of narcissists avoiding them at the same time being nice will make them discard you politely.
On the other hand there is a type of narcissists who will not leave you alone no matter how you show them that you don’t want them. The best way to deal with these narcissists is to stop appearing around them and avoiding places they go as much as possible.
2. Cut the Supply
If you live in close proximity where you can’t avoid them, at work for example, you will have to cut the reward (narcissistic supply) they get from contacting you. In my article why do narcissists need so much attention, I said that narcissists who can’t afford to get positive attention usually provoke others to get negative attention.
If you can stop giving them both positive and negative attention they will eventually lose interest in you. The best way to do this is to be nice but distant. If they try to have a conversation with you, give a short answer and leave.
3. Never Initiate Contact
Some people, after the narcissist starts losing interest and ignoring them, they start initiating contact with the narcissist in order to remain friends. This is a big mistake because it revives the narcissist’s hope of being with you and this can motivate them to pursue you even more.
In case they contact you first which is likely to happen, be a little nice that they don’t think you are interested and distant that they won’t take it as a sign of disrespect. Here the goal is to make them discard you without touching their ego.
4. What About telling them Directly
Telling a narcissist directly that you don’t want them is a big mistake. They first thing they will do, they will tell you that they don’t want you too and you mean nothing to them even if the opposite is true.
Telling them directly can hurt their ego and they would most probably seek revenge in any way possible. To avoid this, the best thing to do is to let them lose interest and discard you politely.
Are you dealing with a narcissist or trying to recover from bad psychological effects of a toxic relationship? In the improved coaching I will give you non-conventional guidance unique to your situation.