Are you tired of being disrespected by a narcissist?
Are you losing your self-esteem because the narcissist doesn’t respect you?
Before you try to make a narcissist respect you, it’s important to understand why he doesn’t respect you in the first place. Malignant narcissists are narcissists who try to hurt others intentionally, and disrespect is one of the methods they use to hurt others. For example if a malignant narcissist wants to dominate you, he may use disrespect in order to lower your self-esteem and make you feel bad about yourself.
Fortunately, not all narcissists are malignant. If the narcissist you are dealing with is not malignant, it’s possible that you might be doing some behavioural mistakes that are making the narcissist lose respect towards you.
If the narcissist always disrespects you on purpose in order to make you feel bad about yourself, then there is no need for you to try to earn their respect because all your efforts will be in vain. The best thing you can do in such case is to avoid them and stay close to those who respect you instead.
In this article I’m going to talk about mistakes in your behaviour that can make a narcissist disrespect you even if he had no malicious intentions.
How to Make a Narcissist Respect you?
You may be thinking that you need to do some psychological tricks in order to make a narcissist respect you but that’s not true. You might have heard of the saying “respect is earned, not given”. That’s correct and the same rule applies when it comes to making a narcissist respect you.
You can earn a narcissist’s respect and people’s respect in general by doing the following practice.
- Appear to be emotionally independent: If you always seem desperate for the narcissist’s acceptance, attention or recognition, it’s harder for them and people in general to respect you. When you appear desperate for people’s support especially those who are not so close to you, they usually conclude that you are weaker and less valuable. On the other hand when you appear emotionally independent, people usually see you as stronger and in control. This makes them automatically believe that you deserve respect. I’m not saying that you should not seek other people’s emotional support when you need it, you should only avoid looking desperate especially when you want to gain their respect. (See how to stop being overly sensitive)
- Look valuable than them: most narcissists consider themselves special and they become really impressed when they find someone special than them. The fastest way to convince a narcissist that you are special than him, is to do something he failed to do, or to achieve something he failed to achieve. Of course this has to be something he values and not something he doesn’t care about. For example, if the narcissists is bad at parenting, then proving to him that you are good at parenting can really impress him. This will make the narcissist respect you in your relationship. Of course you should never tell him directly that you are better than him at something. Instead let him realise it by himself.
- Do you respect yourself?: It’s almost impossible to make a narcissist or any other person respect you if you don’t respect yourself. If you don’t keep promises you make for yourself, if you don’t work hard to improve yourself, then it’s a sign that you don’t respect yourself. When your subconscious mind finds that you don’t respect yourself, it usually concludes that you don’t deserve other people’s respect either. This usually reflects in your behaviour. The human behaviour is controlled by the subconscious mind, when you don’t respect yourself, you automatically start behaving in way that makes other people lose respect towards you.
- Respect them: narcissists have big but fragile egos. Disrespecting a narcissist especially when he believes that he deserves your respect can hurt his ego and in return he may try to revenge by putting you down.
- Show them who you are: a narcissist won’t respect you until you prove to them that you deserve to be respected. This does not mean that you should tell the narcissist directly that you are a great person. Instead, display tremendous confidence through the way you talk, how you deal with them and how you handle problems. Let your words and actions reflect a strong belief in yourself. A narcissist won’t respect you if you always lose control over the smallest problems.
Some narcissist may not respect you if you appear too submissive, in my book “manipulating the manipulator” I explained how you can force a narcissist to respect you by appearing authoritative and self assured. Of course you should not make it look like you are trying to dominate him. (See: how to make a narcissist emotionally dependent on you)