Making a narcissist love you again after devaluation or discard is an easy task given that you are ready to put a little extra effort before it works. However, the time you have been apart plays a big role. After breaking up, narcissists usually crave the narcissist supply they were used to from their partner. Whether it was positive or negative, it takes them a lot of time and effort, before they can assimilate someone new into a stable supply. Unless you have been apart for years that they have forgotten you, bring them back before they move on is easier. ( See also: why do narcissists seem to move on so quickly)
Before you try any attempt to bring them back, it’s important to make sure that you are not giving them a narcissistic supply without knowing. If they believe that your life became miserable after the breakup, it would give them a sense of power over you. If they are mean enough, they would just enjoy seeing you depressed rather than bringing you back in their life. This sense of power over you can give them a dose of narcissistic supply, especially if they believe that breaking up was your fault. In this case, you would need to block it first by acting like the breakup meant nothing to you.
How to Make a Narcissist Want you Back
I guess you already know that narcissists have an inflated ego. Their ego is not only oversized but is so fragile that without a constant assurance of their greatness, they would feel worthless. This makes them fall in love with anything that adds to their ego. Material things like money are good ingredients for their ego, but without a human audience to show off at, all their possessions would be useless.
If breaking up was their decision then most probably, you either hurt their ego or they felt that you were no longer a sufficient supply. To bring them back, you would need to appear worthy at the same time harmless to their ego. Even if a narcissist considers someone a catch he would avoid him or her if he thinks he or she is a threat to their ego. If you started imitating the narcissist after the breakup by being arrogant, unapproachable and aloof, both of you would just repel each other. Narcissists like their opposite: submissive, needy(but worthy) and easily impressed. (See also: What makes a narcissist panic)
4 Ways to Make a Narcissist Love you Again
- Come back with added value: If you had been living with them for a while before you broke up then most likely you know what impresses them. Is it your good personality, looks or possessions? Display it and they will be attracted.
- Play with their ego: Narcissist want someone who views them in high regard as they view themselves. Show them that you are very impressed by their intelligence, body or possessions and they will like you.
- Don’t appear desperate: If the breakup was harsh, they may be still holding grudges. As I said earlier, if you seem desperate for their approval, they may withhold it just to torture you emotionally. Being desperate also makes you look less valuable.
- Doing nothing can also work: Sometimes if they start craving the supply they were addicted to from their partner, they can miss you and bring back themselves.