Before you know how to make a narcissist jealous, it’s important to know how dangerous it can be if done in a wrong way. Jealousy is one of the emotions that can have a big impact on a narcissist’s mind, decisions and actions. Most narcissistic criminals, who scored higher on psychopathy, committed their crimes out of jealousy. A certain psychopath-narcissist was asked why he committed murder and he said that, a man he killed was driving an expensive car than his. This shows how far jealousy can push a narcissist if they are sick enough.
Fortunately, fewer narcissists are psychopathic and most of them can hardly cross the line of murder. But that doesn’t mean that it’s 100% safe to make them jealous. If provoked enough, they can still hurt you emotionally or cause any other covert harm.
How to use Jealousy Against a Narcissist
You can make a narcissist jealous if you either intend to attract them or hurt them emotionally to make them feel the taste of being hurt. I will discuss both cases in this article separately because they need different strategies.
Before we proceed any further, it’s important to understand that here you are in the narcissist’s territory. You are playing their favourite game and they are more experienced. Narcissists are highly manipulative and jealousy is one of their favourite tools for controlling others, especially in relationships. Even narcissistic parents use jealousy by favouring some children over others so that they can control them easily.
To make sure that you are never outsmarted, you will have to be smarter than them and use strategies that they do not recognise.
How to use Jealousy to Attract a Narcissist
If you are really into a narcissist and want to make them feel the same, jealousy is one of the emotions that can induce attraction not only in narcissists but anybody. The type of jealousy that works here is when they are jealousy of someone else for being with you.
How to do it?
Start by giving the narcissist attention if you were not. Once they start to enjoy it, withdraw and start showing interest in someone else. I’m not saying that you should fool someone into loving you just to attract a narcissist. Just approach the other guy in a friendly manner while ignoring the narcissist and that is enough to make them jealous.
But here is a trick. Making a narcissist jealous works better if they are already mildly attracted to you. If they a have little attraction towards you, jealousy can work to intensify their feelings. It is difficult to use this strategy for attracting someone from scratch. Make sure that they are enjoying your attention first before you proceed.
Here is an important point to consider. Narcissists see people in black and white, worthy or worthless. Using a guy they consider worthy would work better because it would question their own superiority. The goal is to make them ask the question ” was this guy favoured because he is better than me?” If this comes in their mind, they can do everything possible to prove that they are better than the other guy.
Remember narcissists understand this game better. If you do it in an obvious way, you will be discovered in no time, and it may backfire. You should conceal your intentions as much as possible when you are trying to attract someone.
Please note that you should only use jealousy when trying to attract a narcissist not when you are in a relationship. In my book “the ultimate guide to making a relationship with a narcissist work” I explained how jealousy can ruin a relationship.
Punishing a Narcissist Using Jealousy
The best way to stir jealousy that can hurt a narcissist, is to become more successful and happier than they are. Unfortunately, achieving this for the sake of hurting them only is harder and not worth the effort. Instead it is better to deal with the desire for revenge first. This desire usually stems from not having moved on completely. In my article “why do narcissists seem to move on so quickly“, I said that the desire for revenge is a strong sign that someone hasn’t fully moved on yet.
In that case, the best thing would be to move on first, and then proceed to improving your life regardless of whether it will hurt the narcissist or not. After all, their personality disorder is already a life-time punishment. The reason why they enjoy hurting undeserving people, is because deep down they live with unhealed emotional wounds. ( See also: why are some narcissists so mean)