Making a narcissist addicted to you will not only make them love you but it can also make them value you more. Narcissists are best known for charming and attracting people but this does not mean that they can’t be played once you understand how their mind works.
You might be thinking that you must be a highly manipulative person for you to play with a narcissist’s mind but that is not true. The following are some of the steps you can follow to make a narcissist addicted to you.
Warning: The following advice is inappropriate if you are dealing with an abusive narcissist. You should read “how to deal with an abusive narcissist” instead.
1. Be their Type
If you want to attract a narcissist who is not attracted to you yet, you will need to show them that you are what they like. Because narcissists usually have a big ego, when they are looking for a relationship partner, they usually look for someone who looks like a big catch. They like someone who will help them project an image of superiority to the public. For this reason they always attach importance to looks, popularity, material things, and anything that helps them display superiority.
However, this does not mean that you can’t attract a narcissist if you don’t have those criteria. As long as the narcissist believes that you are in the same league you can still attract them by displaying your good qualities.
2. Play on thier Need for Narcissistic Supply
All narcissists without exception need and crave narcissistic supply. In some of my previous articles I said that this supply can be anything that makes a narcissist feel important and superior. If you manage to make a narcissist feel important and superior in one way or another, you will be giving them the narcissistic supply they crave.
Making a narcissist feel important can be as simple as laughing at his jokes, reacting positively to their attempts to impress you, and making them feel admired. Narcissists usually put a lot of effort in impressing people and when they get positive feedback they feel good about themselves. Narcissists value the source of this positive feedback even if they may not show it.
3. Give them Limited Attention
Another thing that all narcissists value and crave is attention. If the narcissist you are dealing with is already interested in you, you should start by giving them constant attention by talking to them in person, giving them phone calls or texting.
Once they are used to your attention and enjoying it, you should withhold it all of a sudden without giving explanations. Doing this will make them start wondering what went wrong and they will start thinking about you more.
4. Never be fully Available
Once they start seeking your attention, be a little available and start giving them attention once again. Repeat this cycle several times until their attraction towards intensifies. Give them attention when they need it and withdraw when they need it most. However, never withhold it for long so that they don’t lose hope. One of the factors that intensifies attraction is emotional unavailability. When you are not fully available it motivates the other person to keep chasing you.
Keep in mind that narcissists hate being ignored and they devalue and discard those who ignore them because it hurts them emotionally. You should never give an impression that you are ignoring them on purpose. Instead make it look like you are preoccupied with something important that you can’t get time for them even if you would like to.
Please note that you should use this technique to attract a narcissist or anyone to you, and not to play mind games in a relationship. In my Book “the ultimate guide to making a relationship work” I explained the right way to keep a narcissist interested in you in a long-term relationship. (See also the part two of this article: how to make a narcissist emotionally dependent on you)