Making a narcissist addicted to you will not only make them love you but it will also make them value you more. Narcissists are best known for charming and attracting people to themselves but this does not mean that they can’t be played once you understand how their mind works.
You might be thinking that you must be a highly manipulative person for you to play with a narcissist’s mind but that is not true. The following are some of the steps you can follow to make a narcissist addicted to you.
1. Make them feel superior
Before you try to make a narcissist addicted to you, you will have to show them that you possess the qualities they are looking for. Narcissists usually have an intense desire to be seen as superior, important, and better than other people. When looking for a relationship partner, they usually look for someone who looks like a big catch. They look for someone who will help them feel important or someone who will help them project an image of superiority to the public.
You may be thinking that you have to be super attractive for a narcissist to consider you a great catch but that’s not true. Unless the narcissist is super attractive themselves, they won’t be looking for someone with extraordinary qualities.
2. Play on their need for narcissistic supply
All narcissists without exception need and crave narcissistic supply. In some of my previous articles I said that this supply can be anything that makes a narcissist feel important and superior. If you manage to make a narcissist feel important and superior in one way or another, you will be giving them the narcissistic supply they crave.
Making a narcissist feel important can be as simple as laughing at their jokes, reacting positively to their attempts to impress you, and making them feel admired. Narcissists usually put a lot of effort in impressing people and when they get positive feedback they feel good about themselves. Narcissists highly value their sources of narcissistic supply even if they may never show appreciation.
3. Give them limited attention
Another thing that all narcissists value and crave is attention. To make a narcissist addicted to you using attention, first make sure that they are interested in you so that they will enjoy your attention. After that, start giving them constant attention.
Once they are used to your attention and enjoying it, you should withhold it all of a sudden without giving explanations. Doing this will make them start wondering what went wrong and they will start thinking about you more. However, don’t withdraw your attention in a way that will make them feel offended or ignored. See: what happens when a narcissist knows you love him.
4. Never be fully available
Once they start seeking your attention, be a little available and start giving them attention once again. Repeat this cycle several times until their attraction towards you intensifies. Give them attention when they need it and withdraw when they need it most. However, never withhold it for long so that they don’t lose hope. One of the factors that intensifies attraction is emotional unavailability. When you are not fully available it motivates the other person to keep chasing you.
Keep in mind that narcissists hate being ignored and they devalue and discard those who ignore them because it hurts them emotionally. You should never give an impression that you are ignoring them on purpose. Instead make it look like you are preoccupied with something important to the extent that you can’t get time for them even though you would like to.
5. Predictability makes you less addictive
Do you know why some people get addicted to video games and social media even though they are not drugs? It’s not just because they give a pleasant experience but also because they provide unexpected rewards. Our brain works in a way that we get addicted to anything that surprises us with unexpected rewards.
When someone posts their picture on social media, they are quite not sure whether they will get enough likes or not. When they check their post and find that they only got 5 likes, they may feel a little disappointed but when they come back a few hours later and find that likes have jumped from 5 to 100 along with positive comments, they get excited and start to seek even more rewards. This is how the addiction starts.
You can use the same approach to make a narcissist addicted to you. When your behavior is predictable, when you are available and nice all the time, the narcissist will not only get bored but they will consider you less important. Give them a rewarding experience when they need it most, but when they least expect it.
Please note that you should use this technique to attract a narcissist or anyone to you, and not to play mind games when you have settled in your relationship. In my book “the ultimate guide to making a relationship with a narcissist work” I explained the right way to keep a narcissist interested in a long-term relationship. See also part two of this article: 6 ways to make a narcissist obsessed with you.