How to Know If a Narcissist is Using You

Are you wondering if your narcissistic partner truly loves you or if they are just using you? Do you suspect that they might be faking love just to get something from you such as sex or money?

You can easily tell if a narcissist is using you or not by analyzing their behavior and personality. In this article, you will learn the signs to look for to know if a narcissist is using you or not.

How to know if a narcissist is using you by understanding what they need

The best way to know if a narcissist is using you or not is to understand what they need the most in that moment of their life. Are they in need of money? Are they down, lonely, and desperate for a narcissistic supply? Did they break up with someone else recently and in need of a rebound relationship partner?

If the narcissist depends on you to satisfy some of their needs such as the ones I have just mentioned, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are using you. In fact all relationship partners depend on each other to satisfy some of their needs in one way or another. However, if the only reason why they are in a relationship with you is to satisfy a single need such as sex or money then that means that they are using you.

How to know for sure if the narcissist is using you

As I said, it’s normal for partners to depend on each other to satisfy their psychological or physical needs. If your partner is narcissistic it should be expected that they may need your attention or even use you to get attention and admiration by showing you off to the public, especially if they believe that you are very attractive. However, note that if they don’t show you off to the public it doesn’t mean that you’re not attractive. There could be other reasons for that such as believing that you will feel more important, raise your standards, and leave them for someone better. See: why do some narcissists try to ruin your reputation.

So how can you be certain that a narcissist is using you or if they truly love you?

To know for sure if the narcissist is just using you, you should stop satisfying the need that they depend on you for and see their reaction. For example, if you suspect that the narcissist is dating you just to have sex with you, you should make it clear that you are not ready to have sex with them until your relationship reaches a certain level. If they just want to use you, they will lose interest in you quickly. However, you should be careful not to confuse silent treatment with loss of interest. When a narcissist feels like you are not complying with their demands, they usually give you the silent treatment to punish you.

The silent treatment doesn’t mean that they have lost interest in you. That’s why before you make any serious decision, you should first make sure that they have lost interest in you, not just giving you a temporally silent treatment.

A narcissist may use you unknowingly

Sometimes a narcissist may use you without being aware of it. In my article: how to keep a narcissist interested in you, I said that narcissists usually fall in love with people who help them satisfy their emotional needs such as the need for attention and admiration. This means that if you help a narcissist satisfy their most important needs in one way or another, they will fall in love with you.

In this case, they will be subconscious using you without being aware of it. Actually, this does not happen to narcissists only but normal people as well. It’s common for people to develop feelings for someone simply because they believe that the person will bring something very important in their life.

Here, the intention is not bad but the problem with such relationships is that as soon as their partner can no longer satisfy that need, love will fade away from that relationship quickly and the breakup will follow. See: why are some narcissists so stingy with money.