How to deal with a narcissistic partner? How to deal with a narcissistic boyfriend or girlfriend? How to handle a narcissistic partner? These questions are among the common questions I usually get when I’m coaching people who are dealing with narcissistic partners. That’s why I decided to write this article.
Of course you can’t use one approach or two to deal with every narcissist successfully, that’s why I usually ask my client many questions about the narcissist they are dealing with so that I can give the most suitable advice depending on what they want the relationship to be like. In this article I will tell you how to deal with a typical narcissistic boyfriend or girlfriend in order to have a healthy relationship with him or her.
I’m not going to talk about how to deal with an abusive narcissist, or how to leave a toxic relationship because I have already talked about that in some of my previous articles.
What is a Healthy Relationship Anyway?
A healthy relationship with a narcissist or any other person is a relationship where both partners satisfy each other’s emotional needs, the relationship results in happiness and personal growth for both partners.
We can say that a relationship is healthy if it pushed both people forward in their careers, social life or studies, whether one partner was a narcissist or not. On the other hand, if the relationship resulted in pain, much suffering and abuse then it’s definitely an unhealthy or toxic relationship.
Why is it Hard to Have a Healthy Relationship with a Narcissist
Most narcissists are usually so self-absorbed and busy with themselves in a relationship, and this makes them ignore their partner’s needs. While in a normal relationship both people give each other attention, love and appreciation to a satisfactory extent, a narcissist can be so self-centred that he fails to satisfy his partner’s needs.
While an abusive narcissist can intentionally ignore his partner’s need in order to hurt her, a non abusive narcissist can also ignore his partner’s needs even if he had no intentions of hurting her.
How to deal with a Narcissist in a Relationship
One mistake that most people do when dealing with a self-absorbed narcissistic partner is that they try to force the narcissist to be less self-absorbed and pay attention to them.
The best way to deal with a narcissist is to give him the attention and the supply he needs to feel good about himself, so that he feels satisfied. When you make a narcissist feel better about himself, he will be able to give to you, and he might develop the kind personality you want to see.
As long as the narcissist feels that he is not getting attention and supply he needs from his partner, he might always be self-centred or even try to get another source of supply. On the other hand when you become his source of supply, he will not only value you but he will always come to you when he is craving the supply he needs.
As I said earlier, a narcissistic supply is anything or any person who makes a narcissist feel important.
Don’t be Codependent
The important point her is to satisfy the narcissist’s needs so that he satisfies yours. On the contrary, codependency is when a person sacrifices his own needs in order to please his partner. This is totally unhealthy.
The fact that you should try to satisfy the narcissist’s needs first does not mean that you should prioritise his needs over yours. (See also: How to make a narcissist emotionally dependent on you).
If you find my articles helpful like most people, you will find my E-book; “growing beyond the narcissist” 10 times more helpful.