How Does a Narcissist Choose His Wife

Before I explain how a narcissist chooses his wife let me first explain how a person’s psychological makeup affects every choice they make in life. Every person in the world has some unconscious needs that they strive to fulfil. Some of these needs include: the need for attention, the need to be the best, the need for love, and so on. These needs determine what direction a person will take in life, what makes them happy, and who they will fall in love with.

To understand better how this works, let me give a real life example. Mark grew up as the only child in his family. As the only child, he received a lot of attention from his parents since there was no other child to compete with. After joining school, Mark was very disappointed and unhappy when he found himself in a different environment where he was not the center of attention. This made him hate school so much.

Mark had developed the need for attention and he could only be happy in situations where he was the center of attention.

Who does a narcissist fall in love with

From the previous example, what kind of person do you think Mark would fall in love with? As you might have already guessed, he will fall in love with the person who showers him with attention. Of course the process of falling in love is not that simple since there are other factors involved but a person’s psychological needs play a very big role. See: how to make a narcissist fear you and respect you.

When it comes to choosing a wife, narcissists also choose a wife who will fulfil their psychological needs. Most narcissists have psychological needs such as the need to be superior, the need for attention, and the need to be in control. For these reasons, a typical narcissist will choose a wife who helps him fulfill these needs.

So does this mean that all narcissists look for the same type of wife? Of course not! This is simply because if the narcissist is looking for a superior wife, she has to be superior according to the narcissist. While one narcissist may consider physical looks a sign of superiority, another narcissist may consider popularity or social status as a sign of superiority. See: Why do narcissists accuse you of cheating?

This is how a narcissist chooses his wife

As I said, there are many other factors that affect how a narcissist chooses his wife other than his psychological needs. These factors include things such as his past relationships, how he was raised, and his self-esteem. For example, if the narcissist’s previous relationship ended badly, he may avoid people who have similar traits to his previous partner.

This is how narcissists choose their wives.

  1. They rely more on logic than emotions: when it comes to choosing a wife, narcissists rely more on logic and not just emotions. This means that they calculate the benefits that their potential partner will bring in their life before they choose them. However, this does not mean that narcissists don’t fall in love emotionally.
  2. They look for trophy wives: some narcissists care a lot about how the public sees them. In order to improve their image, they look for a trophy wife who looks fascinating. Someone who will capture the public’s attention.
  3. Someone who looks like their preferred parents: what I forgot to mention in the story of Mark is that he was subconsciously attracted to women who look like his mother. This may sound weird but it’s actually normal. The subconscious mind believes that people who look alike have similar personality traits. Since Mark was pampered by his mother he subconsciously believed that women who look like his mother will pamper and take care of him like his mother did.
  4. They pick the available option: you might have concluded that narcissists are very picky but that’s not always true. If a narcissist believes that he is very desirable and attractive he will assume that he has many options and therefore, he will be very picky when it comes to choosing a wife. On the other hand, a narcissist who doesn’t believe that he’s that attractive will believe that he has limited options, thus, he will sacrifice some of the traits that he was looking for in a wife. Maybe if he was looking for 8 good traits, he may sacrifice 3 or 4. See also: how to know if a narcissist is using you.