Do narcissists feel bad when you move on? Do narcissist like to keep their exes interested in them? How exactly does a narcissist feel when they realize that you have moved on? Before I answer these questions, let me explain how you unintentionally reward a narcissist when you don’t move on.
When a narcissist realizes that you can’t move on after a breakup, it does not only make them feel important but it also makes them feel in control. Narcissists crave attention, admiration, and anything that makes them feel important. When a narcissist sees that you badly want them back, it reassures them that they are needed, loved, and attractive.
Narcissists feel bad when you move on
When a narcissist discards you, it doesn’t mean that they have completely lost interest in you. Even if they were mad at you, they would still enjoy your attention, love, and everything good that may come from you. As long as you are sending signals that show that you haven’t moved on yet, it gives them a sense of self-importance, after all, if you can’t move on it means that the narcissist was so important to you, right? That’s the conclusion narcissists make, whether it may be correct or not.
Now, when you move, the narcissist realises that they are no longer important to you, and this cuts the narcissistic supply they had been getting from you. As I said in other articles, a narcissistic supply is anything that makes a narcissist feel important.
Another factor that makes narcissists feel bad when you move on is their desire for revenge. Narcissists are usually so vindictive after a conflict. If they believe that it was all your fault that the breakup happened, they may develop a strong desire for revenge. They may not take any action to punish you but they will surely enjoy seeing you suffer. Seeing you desperate for their return is one of the things that can satisfy their need for revenge. As you might have already guessed, the narcissist won’t be happy to see you moving on. See: why do narcissists seem to move on so quickly?
Why you may unintentionally attract a narcissist back when you move on
According to attraction psychology, you can actually attract someone by avoiding them. When you have been giving someone attention and suddenly pull back and start ignoring them, they will feel a sense of loss even if they were not really interested in you. No one likes to lose attention, love or anything. That’s why they will automatically try to regain the attention they lost. This may motivate them to pursue you unless there’s something that prevents them from doing so.
If the narcissist started chasing you as soon as you decided to to move on, you should no be surprised. It only means that they haven’t moved on yet and they don’t want to lose your attention. In my article: why do narcissists hoover, I said that one of the reasons why narcissists hoover is realizing that their ex is moving on.
Will a narcissist feel bad when you move on if they moved on before you?
As I said, when a narcissist is mad at you, when they have a strong desire for revenge, it doesn’t mean that they lost interest in you. It only means that you still occupy a big space in their mind. On the other hand, when a narcissist has completely moved on, they will simply be indifferent towards you.
This means that they will be nice but distant, and they won’t have any desire for revenge. In this case, they wouldn’t care if you moved on or not.
You may be thinking that narcissists find it easier to move on after a breakup than normal people but that’s not true. In reality, the more a person depends on their partner for attention, emotional support, approval or anything else, the more they find it difficult to move on. Narcissists are usually so dependent on their relationship partner even if they act as if they don’t care. That’s why they don’t actually move on quickly. For more information on why narcissists don’t move on easily, see my article: do narcissists forget their exes quickly?