Contrary to what many people think, narcissists are not difficult to read provided that you know what to look for. Some people assume that narcissists only love themselves and not capable of loving anyone but that’s not 100% true. While it’s true that narcissists love themselves so much, they do feel attraction and love towards others as well. Of course their love is different and that’s why many people find it hard to understand them.
How to Tell if a Narcissist is Interested in you
- They will try to impress you: narcissists usually try to impress people in general and when they get positive feedback they feel good about themselves. However, they don’t judge people equally and getting positive feedback from a person they value is not as important as getting positive feedback from someone they don’t value that much. For this reason when they are in love with a person they will be eager to impress that person not only to attract him/her but also because getting positive feedback from this person can make them feel really good about themselves.
- They will show off: showing off is another sign that a narcissist is interested in you. When a narcissist thinks that you are not giving him the admiration he thinks he deserves or when he thinks that what he has and who he is at the moment is not enough to impress you, they display their good qualities and everything good they have in order to win your admiration. Some narcissists are intelligent; they will show off indirectly because they know that people don’t like showy people.
- They will stare at you: in my article “why do narcissists stare” I said that narcissists tend to stare to someone they are attracted to. While staring can also be used as a manipulation tactic, a prolonged stare can also indicate that they are preoccupied with the person in their thoughts and evaluating his/her looks and movements.
- They will behave overly confident: narcissists know that confidence attracts. They display exaggerated confidence around the person they are in love with as a means of attracting them. It also helps them project an image of superiority that they always want people to see especially those they like.
- They will love bomb you: this is the most obvious sign. Love bombing is when a narcissist shows you exaggerated love, affection and attention. Narcissists are likely to use love bombing to attract their ex back but they can also use it to attract someone they are in love with especially if they feel comfortable around that person.
- They will discard-hoover you: when a narcissist keeps showing interest in someone without getting the result they want, it can badly hurt their ego as a result they can devalue and discard that person no matter how they were previously interested in him/her. But because this discard has nothing to with losing interest in that person, they usually came back to try other methods of attracting that person. (See: how to make your partner love you more)
Narcissists are Manipulative
Narcissists are highly manipulative people. When a narcissist wants you, he can try several manipulation tactics including hiding his real self in order to make sure that they get you. The problem is that he may not be interested in a long-term relationship but to get a short-term self-esteem boost. Some narcissists try to prove to themselves that they are important by attracting many people to them. You should resist getting emotionally attached to a narcissistic person before you understand well what they want.
While not all narcissistic people are abusive in relationships, you should avoid abusive narcissists as soon as they start showing signs of interest in you. Fortunately in my book “manipulating the manipulator” you will learn how to identify abusive narcissists, psychopaths and other types of difficult people before they even talk to you.